turn.the.lights.down.[Kai]

[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

Even with the proof right by his side, it was hard to wrap around the reality that he wasn't alone. That even through all the things that he'd done to the dark-haired boy, all the things he'd done, if not purposefully, that had hurt the one person he'd tear himself apart over hurting. He'd been as everyone had always know him when the boy first appeared in his life; irritable, quick to judge, irrational, and violent. He'd had the audacity to never blink twice as he sat back and let the trusting younger boy choke himself in alcohol. Even after all that was said, he'd tossed everything out the window to make room for blind hurt and jealousy that only deepened the open wounds he'd already created. He'd given the younger boy more than enough reasons to turn and run, but somehow Luthen had seen past what he'd worked to become and found what he really was underneath all his nurtured flaws. By some miraculous miracle, the boy had stayed. Had come to love him. He was still waiting for the reality to sink in, still so afraid that he'd wake up to find that none of what he was feeling was real. That maybe Luthen wouldn't still be there. But at least for that night, he didn't have to fight his fears; he couldn't express how deeply he needed the younger boy to stay with him, or how a few words could affect him so deeply. He'd never loved like he loved the boy. And he would bet his soul that he never would again.

He pushed against the heavy front doors, icy eyes scanning the still entry hall before he motioned the younger boy to follow, ignoring the muddy tracks his waterlogged shoes left behind him on the pristine tile hallways as he set off down a small corridor to his immediate right. He was thankful for the apparent vacancy of the sprawling manor; recounts of the other's last visit flooded him, and he felt a twinge of guilt. He felt like it was too selfish to admit, but deep down he didn't feel like sharing this time. Whether the younger boy would want it or not, he'd already come to think of Luthen as his. Silently, he made his way to the second to last door on the hallway, flicking on the lights as he stepped into the cream-carpeted room and closing the door behind the younger boy. Yeah, so.. He rubbed at the back of his neck, shrugging as he turned to the room before sliding out of his shoes. S'my place I guess.. The room was fairly large, much too clean for his own liking, but he'd gotten tired of arguing with the maids. Not unlike all the other rooms, there was a small sitting area messily adorned with all matter of clutter, the navy blue of the couches and the bed intermixing well with the darkened olive-colored walls. He offered a small smile, disappearing for a minute to return with towels of the same navy blue color. Sorry about the betty homemaker stuff.. the decorator said I needed flair or something. He chuckled, sliding one of the towels over the boy's damp hair and moving to the double-doored closet. Uh.. y'want something drier? he held up a pair of faded jeans and a distressed blue shirt, I mean, you can stay like that if you want, just.. His voice was muffled as he peeled the soaked shirt over his head, tugging the pointlessly pressed tee down and rubbing at his dripping hair with a towel. Take whatever you want, really. He moved back to where the boy was, his gaze hovering over the younger boy's features as a hand rested gently against the other's arm. I'm.. I can't tell you how grateful I am that you came, Luth. Thanks.

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: -snort- They're not really in the living room rofl.. his room's kinda off the living room, and I didn't have a board for his place and whatever, so this shall do! XD Geez J.. you barely get the guy in your room and you're already strippin' down hahaha! Jkjk. Sorry about this.. I failz at introductions x3
Images©LJ

[Luthen]

Of all the things he could of ever hoped for; this certainly wasn't one he had expected. He erased the possibility of it ever happening, for who would ever love him? But what was just as surprising was the fact that he had fallen for this person. He didn't even expect anything but a lot of bloody battles after their first few seconds of meeting. Yet, something else happened entirely, first friendship, and then love. He really didn't even know how he had fallen, and he had fallen hard, for the older boy. Though, he never expected the other to love him, it had almost stopped his heart and willed it to burst at the same time. Everything Jarred did could make his heart skip a beat; it was just so hard to believe that this was really happening. But it was. This dream was a reality, even though some part of him still thought that this was just a cruel trick his mind was playing on him. Though, every second he was beside the other, he was beginning to understand that this was real. His thoughts could no longer attack him, as long as he was with the bodyguard; they were faded and push to the very back of his head. This was one reason why he didn't want to leave the other's side; he feared what his thoughts would do to him. But tonight he wouldn't think of what would happen, tonight he was staying with the person he loved more then air.

The ride over here was defiantly.. Interesting. He'd never been in a car before, so it was a little bit exciting; he'd always stayed away from them after that close call that almost left him dead. He didn't know that how the older boy drove could be call 'reckless' but that was probably for the best. Slowly he followed after the other, this place still amazed him, it was just so big and well, he just wasn't use to this stuff. He didn't make a sound as he walked through the place; though his foot prints would leave a sign of his presence. He swallowed as he remembered the last time he'd come here, a bit of guilt melted over him. Luthen was beyond grateful that the place seemed empty, he didn't want to face anyone from this place. All he wanted was to be with the other boy.. Wow.. This is nice, he stepped into the room and looked around; it seemed really nice, though he wasn't to fond of not seeing the sky overhead. Well, at least he was out of the rain. He slipped off his shoes and placed them next to Jarred's; I wonder how big this place is anyway, I mean.. The boy flashed a grateful smile as the blue towel was draped over his head. "Its fine, this place is amazing," he mumbled as he began to dry his dark hair. He paused and looked over to the older boy, the towel hug around his neck; he wasn't too fond of the idea of changing, mostly because he didn't want other to see his wounds. It'd be better if I get out of these though.. He lowered his gaze and bit his lower lip. Luckily the other came back beside him and dispelled the troubling thoughts; he looked at the older boy and smiled. "I'm glad I came.. I really didn't want to spend tonight alone." He looked at the other for a moment, then glanced at the carpeted floor, "I guess I'll get some drier clothes.." He stepped away from the other and walked over to the closet; he pulled out a dark blue long-sleeve shirt and a pair of jeans, then he went to the task of pulling off his soaked shirt. With his shirt off, two old scars were reveled as well as a few puncture and bite wounds. Quickly he slid the shirt over his head and pulled it down, covering up all his wounds. The shirt was a tad big for him and he had to roll up the sleeves a bit to reveal his hands. I hope he doesn't blame himself for my wounds.. It was true that a few of his injures came from Jarred's doing, but he had a fight with Reku too; so the other boy couldn't take all the blame. He walked back to where he had left the older boy, he was nervous to meet the other's icy gaze; "Its really nice of you to let me borrow your clothes." All he could do was hope that the other didn't bring up his afflictions, if he did Luthen would just lie and say they looked worse then they really were. He wouldn't dare tell this person how close he had come to killing the devoto. "So.. um.." he rubbed the back of his neck, touching the starting point of the long scar that ran down the length of his back; he was at a loss of what to do now.

[ Your post was fine, intros are always hard. Er, this got long XD]
Icons;©LJ

[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

Crimson staining the weathered brick walls and bitter loathing running like adrenaline through his veins, a look of intent murder darkening his chalk-white features and filling his hollowed, bottomless eyes. That was how he'd come to meet the younger boy, and at the time, that was how he figured it would go on until the day he finally killed the devoto. So how had it changed so quickly? It hadn't been so long ago that he and the dark-haired boy, the single person his world had come to revolve around, the purpose to his life, had been at each other's throats. So what exactly had happened to turn everything around so quickly? How, in the small time between when he'd overheard the other boasting about how easy the young prince would be to take out and what had just happened earlier that day at the edge of the southern forest, had he gone from bitter hatred to something so deep, so affectionate, so addicted that 'love' just barely seemed to fit? He'd turned the thought over and over in his mind, pursuing every angle that might shed some light on why any of this had happened to him, of all people. He wasn't lucky, he sure as hell wasn't devout, and there wasn't a good thing he'd done in his life that could've come back around. So how had someone as remarkable as Luthen chosen him? How was it possible that not only had he fallen, really truly fallen, but that the single person he needed so badly truly loved him back? It didn't matter how many times the boy's confession played in his head; he was so afraid that this was all a trick. So afraid that he'd wake up. But tonight, he could push his fears aside.

It struck him that this was probably the first time since he'd come to work at the sprawling manor that he hadn't bypassed the familiar hallway he'd just led the younger boy down, taking the carpeted steps two at a time like he always did and turning at the decadent doors of the king's suite, entering the prince's maroon room and flopping onto the spotless couch. He'd never felt the need to avoid everyone like he was doing now. But standing there, in his cool-colored room with the one person he'd do anything in the world to have beside him, the last thing he wanted was to run into anyone else. He was selfish; there wasn't much he really thought of as his, but Luthen was his greatest obsession. His icy eyes found the younger boy's golden gaze, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he looked down at the boy. Heh. It's.. y'know, it's home. His shoulders rose in a small shrug, a chuckle rising from his throat. The boy's words washed over him, filing him with an unexplainable warmth that had his heart hammering the same way it'd been nearly all day. I.. I don't think I want to spend any night alone.. he knew it was a stupid thought, a fruitless want. If there was any way, he would do anything to be able to have the boy always be there, to always fend away the fears that rose in his abscence. But he knew that could never happen. The other's gaze tore from his own, his head nodding slowly as he disappointedly watched the younger boy step towards the closet, taking the moment to find a zippered jacket underneath the clutter hanging from the back of his door and sloppily pulling it over his shoulders. He turned back towards the room, his light blue gaze immediately drawn to the uncovered stretch of scarred skin as the younger boy pulled the drenched shirt over his head. He bit at his bottom lip, concern and guilt flooding his features as a regretful flush fell lightly across his face. Some of the wounds seemed to have had time to heal, but others looked too new to not put the blame on him. Dammit, Jarred. Just how deeply did I injure him? I.. I could've.. could've.. His blood seemed to freeze; just the idea that he could've killed the younger boy threatened to force him to the ground, buckle him beneath the sudden surge of terror he was caught in. He didn't realize the boy had made his way over until the other's soft voice rescued him, his anxiety fading as he smiled down at the other, fingering the dark fabric of the familiar shirt. No problem, it's the least I can do.. he chuckled lightly, I think it's better on you. The silence between them stretched on until the boy's voice just barely cut through. So.., he repeated, Uh.. Sorry I'm such a terrible host, he chuckled, his smile beginning to fade as his voice softened, losing it's amused tone, If you want something, just tell me, I jus'.. Just don't really.. wanna be around anyone else. He could feel his cheeks growing hot, struggling against the part of him aching to give up his gentlemanly personality.

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: Hee your post was so great! <3 Can't stop loving Luth lol. Haha J failz. (this is what happens when I type with a sinus headache XD)
Images©LJ

[Luthen]

He knew that he didn't belong here, least of all with this one person that had become everything to him. Parts of him still wanted to end it, end everything that was happening between the two of them. The guilt for what his presence had caused could of been suffocating if not for this overpowering sense of warmth. He was wanted, and that was enough to take his breath away. Never again did Luthen ever think that he would ever be wanted; he was just a scarred wolf, left to fade away. There was nothing that would of made a single person ever want him. And yet Jarred had said over and over that he, Luthen, was amazing. The devoto still couldn't understand that.. But he wouldn't press it; for it might make the older boy change his mind and leave him. He was becoming selfish, and he knew it, but he couldn't stop himself; all he wanted was the other boy. Nothing else mattered as long as he could stay with this one person; he'd already said that he would sell his soul, but he would do so much more then just that. There was no limit to the things that he would do for the other; just as long as he stayed with the devoto.

He hated how little his wounds had healed, but what he hated even more was showing them to the other. He knew he was lucky; if a few of the older boy's blows had shifted a bit and had got him somewhere else, he'd of been dead. At the time, he would of been happy with that; but now, now the fact that he had nearly died planted fear in him. Was it fate that had let him live? Let him meet this wonderful person? Luthen wasn't one to think that fate would ever do anything good for him, but maybe, it could. Its so hard to think of what we once were.. his thoughts echoed softly. He hated the fact that he had hurt the other, even though there was no sigh on the older boy. He knew what he had done, and that was enough to put an extra bit of guilt in him. With some effort he managed to push away the guilt, he would let it all rain down another time, when he wasn't insight of the older boy. Concern flooded through him as he returned to the other's side, noticing now troubled the other was. He blames himself.. the thoughts moaned; he didn't want the other to blame himself. Jarred's words brought a smile to his face; I wonder if he'll let me keep it.. W-what was I just thinking.. his thoughts made his cheeks flush slightly. He was wrapped in the others scent and it was intoxication to the devoto, maybe that's why his thoughts were becoming like this. "N-no, you're a fine host, I'm in dry cloths, aren't I?" he chuckled a bit; he hoped this would hide how embarrassed he was of that previous thought. "Umm, I don't need or want anything.." he paused and looked down at the carpeted floor, he could feel his cheeks grow redder. "I've already got everything I could ever want.. Right here." He just had to be drugged to be this honest; well one could say that he was... Slowly he lifted his head back up, "I-is there anything that you want?" There was no reason to why he should be host-like, but he just couldn't help it. I just want to make him happy.

Icons;©LJ

[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

He had made a pledge, the day he was assaulted by the one race he'd thought would leave him alone, would turn a blind eye because they didn't care, to never give in to anyone. He'd promised himself and whatever higher powers there were that he would never let anyone in; if strangers and numb acquaintances could break and burn him like they had, taking so much and giving him back only a deeper hatred than that he'd already harbored, he was convinced that a true bond could only bring about his seemingly unattainable end. He'd never been a class-A personality anyway, and barring any type of relation had never been a sacrifice or a task in the least. But now he was in so deep he felt as though he could touch bottom, and he was willing, he wanted so badly, to stay right where he was, to keep drowning. Luthen had flipped his perspective, of relationships, of what he himself was, of everything, completely upside down, and suddenly he'd dropped his nonchalance about what happened to him or where he might end up. Now, the dark-haired boy had given him a reason. He wanted nothing more than to just know the boy was there. Mostly. As close as he got to the boy, no matter how tightly his arms encircled the other's trim middle, he had the growing sense that he needed to be closer. That he needed, or maybe it was wanted, more.

He wished there was a way to take back what he'd done to the younger boy he held more dearly than life itself. The one promise he was so set on keeping, the one promise that he'd die if it was broken, in a way seemed already defiled. He'd promised the younger boy he wouldn't let anything happen, and yet he was the cause of at least some of the deep marks across the boy's torso. His thoughts were dissipated as the younger boy's intoxicating smile filtered through his regret, replacing all his self-anger with an addictive serenity that only Luthen could pull out of him. He returned the warm smile, noticing the other boy's complexion redden as much as his had. He loved seeing Luthen blush. While it seemed to enflame some people's faces, botch their features, when the younger boy reddened it accented his countenance almost perfectly, only making the bodyguard love him that much more. That reality, however, always prompted a like response across his own face. The boy's words flowed against him, a light chuckle rising from his throat, I guess. Heh. Uh.. sorry if it's kinda long.. He rubbed at the back of his neck, feeling his heart hammering against his chest as his face grew hot at the younger boy's quiet words. "I've already got everything I could ever want.." He almost needed a punch to the gut just to be sure this was all real. He wasn't the philosophical type, but somehow he'd been able to pull out an answer for everything. He was formed to teach bastards around the world to know their place, he'd been banished because he didn't choose to conform, because he was different, but nothing seemed to answer why Luthen had even fallen for him. And an even less understandable question; how had he been lucky enough to have the younger boy want to be with him? He stepped toward the boy, smoothing a hand fondly across the covered plane of the younger boy's upper arm. Luth.. I.. it means so much just to hear you say that.. His softened gaze met the other's as the boy tipped his chin away from his chest, the younger boy's tentative question catching him the least bit off guard. Is there anything I want..? He blinked down at the younger boy, offering a small smile as he bit at his bottom lip, his heart beating so violently he didn't see how the boy wouldn't hear it. As long as I have you, Luth.. as long as you're right here, as long as you love me.. But that's not what quietly escaped him. Y-yeah.. the single word was barely audible, I.. I.. want.. He leaned over, hesitantly brushing his lips to the younger boy's with a question in his actions and present on his features. You.

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: -shot'd- oh goddzz the hallmarky-ness is baaack! Sorta.. XD I thought yours was so cute! <3 Lol my muse is gone too.. I shall start looking for it hurhur
Images©LJ

[Luthen]

"Luthen, you're the type of wolf that will always draw others too them.. Its just the way your personality is. But that makes me happy." "Huh, why is that Lothen?" "Because, I won't have to worry about you, you'll never be left alone, you will always have someone by your side." His father knew better then any other pack member how vulnerable Luthen was. He constantly worried what would happen to his adopted son if anything happened and he was no longer there to stand beside Luthen.. The devoto knew he didn't deserve this person after everything he had caused.. But he couldn't help himself anymore; Jarred had become his addiction. He could no longer fight how much he needed this one person; the older boy had become his world, his reason to live. He was lost, fading, letting his self drift away; when the other had appeared he was on the edge, just beginning to drop. But then he was saved by this wonderful person. He would do anything to keep this person beside him, to keep him from going back to what he was becoming. Now that he looked back at what he was becoming, a drop of fear rippled through him; he didn't want to be that person anymore.. He wanted to like he was now, almost like his old self.

The other's scent whirled around him, making his head buzz slightly; it was like a drug, only so much better. The only side effect this had was making the boy completely honest; he could no longer hold back everything he felt for the older boy. Normally he would hold it back, only showing a small amount of what he felt for the other. He didn't do this on purpose, it was just, well.. Luthen really didn't know why he toned down all he felt for the other. But he had an idea; What if this isn't real? his thoughts droned softly. He was scared to go in too far, for if this wasn't really happening, he would be left broken beyond repair. There would be no one that would be able to save the devoto then.. Of course none of that mattered now when he was in this intoxicated state; the only thing that did matter was the older boy that stood before him. Luthen didn't mind that the shirt was a bit long; it wrapped him in warmth and comfort, mostly due to who its owner was. Whether he would admit it or not, he still had a small strand of hope that he would be able to keep the shirt; sure it would be hard to explain it to the gang.. Er, make that impossible, but Luthen didn't care. He could feel the smile make is way onto his face as he felt that reassuring touch along with those soft spoken words. I'm glad, that it does.. he thought as his head lifted. He felt warmth flood through him with the older boy's small smile; Luthen still didn't quite understand how this small thing could make him feel so happy, but it did. He thought he caught the pounding of the other's heart; "Y-yeah.. I.. I.. want.." I'll give you anything.. Just say it.. His golden eyes widened slightly in surprise as Jarred leaned toward him. His face flushed red as he felt the other's lips against his own; I'm already yours, his thoughts echoed softly as his arms wrapped around the older boy.

[lol, I like the hallmarky-ness XD Gah -stabs muse- It has failed me once again T-T sorrys]
Icons;©LJ

[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

Everything was so upside down, so undistinguishable or incomprehensible, that he wasn't so sure he really knew who he was even. So much had happened in so little time; what he thought he'd felt was reinstated, all the walls he'd spend twenty one years building and strengthening were burned to the ground so quickly, and all the little things, the emotions and the responses and the feelings, he didn't think he'd possessed had been found. The only thing that was absolutely clear in his mind was Luthen, and he clung to the younger boy like a lifeline in a hurricane. When he was with the boy, he felt enveloped in warmth and a sense of safety that he'd never found before. He wanted that to last; what he didn't know, and wished he would never have to find out, is what would happen in the dark-haired boy's absence. What would happen when he was left, once again, to his own accord? Even when the boy was with him, it was only towards Luthen that he acted so.. differently. The boy made him feel wanted, something he knew he'd never hoped to feel or would ever have the privilege of feeling. But his thoughts could be pushed aside for the night, his fears forgotten as long as the younger boy was by his side.

Everything about the younger boy in front of him was enrapturing; the feel of his scraped and calloused fingertips rising to the point on the boy's jaw where damp hair met paled skin, the way his heart pounded against his chest and seemed to still at the exact same moment, just by being near the other, the small smiles and even smaller gestures that other people would write off as insignificant. Everything. At that moment, he knew that this boy was all he needed. Was all he could ever want. As much as he wanted to push it away like all the other darkening thoughts, there was still a tinge of fear at the bottom of his stomach, a cruel voice in the back of his mind, that none of this could really he happening. Not to someone like him. Please don't let this be fake.. He wouldn't let himself believe that it was. He couldn't. Luthen was the only real, the only solidity, he had at that time. The hand against the side of the younger boy's head fell weakly, as though immobilized for the moment, finding a new hold against the edge of the younger boy's sloping shoulder, his idle arm winding it's way carefully around the boy's waist. No.. nothing imaginary could make me feel like this.. He hesitated in his actions, wanting only to be perfect for the younger boy, waiting for something, anything, to direct him one way or another. His breath caught and his heart seemed to skip at the feeling of the dark-haired boy's arms encircling him, bringing a warmth he'd trade the world to stay trapped in. A slight smile wove it's way back across preoccupied lips as he hesitated before stepping forward, bringing Luthen between him and the back of the room's stained maple door. I love you, Luth..he murmured against the other, his voice barely audible even in the silence of his spacious room. Something strained for him to stop, that if he wasn't careful he'd take one step too many too fast and end up regretting it all. But the floor beneath him had given way again, and he could fell himself falling further. A part of him had made it's way past the eggshells he walked on for Luthen.

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: Awwz your muse totally puts the smack-down on mine XD. I dunno what happened, it poofed lol. Geez, J.. he's blunt, that one. XD
Images©LJ

[Luthen]

What happens if all your lifelines are gone? Left out in one to many storms; left to fade into nothing. He was falling, all his life supports were cut, more like shattered. Day after day, the boy fell further down. Sometimes he'd catch a single strand that would stop his decent, but those never lasted long enough and once more he was forced to fall. There was nothing left in this world for the devoto; everything he'd cared and loved was on the other side, because of him. The blame he put upon himself only increased the rate he fell, but what awaited at the bottom for him? He didn't know, he couldn't guess, all he knew was that everyday, it drew closer. Unexpectedly there was a hand, willing to stop his fall, willing to bring him back to the surface. He didn't deserve to be saved, so why bother trying to grasp the hand? But it turns out he didn't have a choice in the matter. Suddenly there was solid ground beneath him; it was so strange, to not feel the sensation of falling. He didn't know, no, he had forgot what it was like to stand on something solid, something that would never fall away. Yet, it could always crumble, it could always break apart, he could slip off, or just jump off. Would this new lifeline hold? Will it survive? Did he even deserve this saving grace? Did he even deserve his savior? This love? These feeling of being wanted?

Right now, there was nothing that he'd trade this night for; nothing could ever be as completely wonderful or terrifying as this was. He was so lost in the moment, everything else became nonexistent, there was just the older boy and him. Everything could burn away to ash for all he cared, as long as he could stay here, with Jarred. There was nothing in this world that could ever make him feel so happy, so completely and utterly happy as being right here did. Don't let it end.. Let this be real, god, please let this really be happening.. That fear was still there, though, that this might not be real; but it just had to be, it just had to. Even his corrupted and murderous mind could not make an illusion like this; so that just had to mean one thing.. He loved the way the other's hand felt against the side of his face; but nothing compared to addictiveness of the older boy's lips against his own. He barely felt the hand slip from his face and fall to his shoulder as the other's free arm wrapped around his waist. His own arms encircling the older boy; This has to be real.. He was a bit confused when he found his back resting against the maple-stained doors and the bodyguard in front of him. "I love you, Luth.." He felt his heart hammer against his chest; no matter how many times Jarred told him this, it was still such a shock. The boy's face slowly changed to a deeper shade of red, "I-I.. Love you too, Jarred," he whispered softly. Luthen really didn't know what to do, he was at a bit of a loss; never before had he felt this way about anyone before. But on top of that he'd only known he could be human for almost six years; so what was he suppose to do? His golden gaze shifted slightly; I don't know, what to do..

[Lol, blunt J is cute <3 Erm.. maybe I lied about my muse coming back Xp -stabs post- (Rofl I actually had to look up what walking on eggshells meant -failz- XD)]
Icons;©LJ

[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

When he was around the younger boy, he was different. Even just turning from the other, addressed by a waiting cashier or pretty close to anyone else, it was like nothing had changed; he was still just as cold, just as unapproachable as ever. But Luthen could flip him inside out, withdraw a patient softness, just by being near him. Just by speaking. He was careful around the younger boy; afraid wasn't the word he'd choose, but so determined to be everything for the boy. To be so perfect, to be everything the other needed him to be, to never do anything that would ever hurt Luthen in any way. He'd never given any thought to anyone other than himself for nearly twenty-one years; his needs were the only ones that mattered, it was always what he wanted. But now he couldn't care less what happened to him; as long as the boy he was so hopelessly addicted to, so truly infatuated with, was happy. As long as Luthen was alright. But as quiet and resigned as the younger boy could seem to make him, it couldn't be denied that that wasn't his core personality. Somewhere, he was bound to slip up.

The only thing he cared about was keeping the younger boy close to him, keeping that feeling of security covering him like a blanket in the boy's proximity. He would do anything to stop the clocks from moving forward, ticking off the minutes until it was dawn. He didn't know what the morning held, whether the younger boy would even still be there when he woke up. But he didn't want to think about that, he really didn't want to think about anything, truthfully, except for Luthen. Except for what was happening now. Just feeling the boy's arms encompassing him, holding him tighter than any lifeline ever could, made his heart leap to his throat and any hesitance or misleading melt away instantly. He couldn't remember a time when one person could make him feel so wanted, so significant. He drew back, resting his forehead against the crook of the younger boy's neck as the other's soft voice washed against him. No matter how many times the boy said it, he didn't think he would ever get used to it. I love you too.. It was still hard to believe these words could be directed at him. He loved hearing his name in the younger boy's quiet voice, the hand at the other's waist tightening warmly against the fair skin underneath the boy's familiar shirt. I don't want to ever leave you.. I don't.. he mumbled into the dip of the younger boy's collar, moving his head from the other's shoulder and returning to where he'd just been, consideration beginning to slip as he bit more stringently than he'd meant at the younger boy's lower lip. promise you won't leave me.. The passive patience Luthen could bring into him seemed to be sliding; maybe, if he wasn't so enraptured in the moment, he could've seen the uncertainty in the boy's features. Maybe he'd have the sense to step down. But the only thing registering was the feel, the scent, the taste of Luthen.

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: Yaaay kai's muse came back! (lawlz your post ttly showed it did <3) Olawlz now you know what it means! Turdurr! Edumacation thar haha. My muse on the other hand.. it needs work lol. And geez J, kill the poor guy why don't you? x3
Images©LJ

[Luthen]

Never before had he ever cursed the life he had, but at this moment, the devoto did. Luthen had grown up and lived as a wolf, learning everything that would help a wild wolf live and survive. But human nature, that was a complete foreign language to him, it was not something that could be summoned or even remembered; for he had no knowledge of it. The situation he was now in, it kinda scared him. He felt as if he was just thrown out into a battle field, well, he would of preferred that. He knew how to fight and kill, but this, this was something so new. But he felt as if the other would understand, no, he hoped and prayed the other would understand how useless he was in this department. He couldn't even guess, he had nothing to work on, nothing to go on, just, well, even instinct had failed him. What was he to do? He couldn't just wing it, that wasn't how he worked.. But what else could he do? He couldn't bring himself to say anything, could he? This person before him was so special, so important to him, he had to at least try..

He loved being this close to the older boy, but it was still so hard to believe that this was real, and yet it truly was. There was nothing fake about this moment. But how would it play out, in the end that is? He would give so much to make this time last forever, and not ever have this night end. He was slightly worried how tomorrow might pan out, but slowly he was able to push those thoughts back; lately it had been getting easier and easier to push away the unwanted thoughts. Would he still be able to do this, if he wasn't next to the older boy? If he wasn't in sight of him? The boy didn't know, nor did he ever want to find out, he didn't want to leave the other, he just didn't want to. He felt so safe, with his arms wrapped around the other; there wasn't anything that could make him loosen his grip, well, unless he was asked to by the person he held so tightly. He would do anything for the person before him; even walk into uncharted waters and bet all he had, even his pathetic life. Hesitantly, he titled his head slightly till it was resting against Jarred's; he could feel his cheek burning as he felt the older boy's breath against his shoulder. His heart pounded as the arm around his waist tightened, causing his own arms to tighten slightly around the other. "I don't want to ever leave you.. I don't.. " I don't want to leave you either, I'd be content to just stay here forever with you.. The thoughts had formed, but he never got a chance to say them. He winced slightly as the pressure against his lower lip increased; he was truly at a loss. W-what am I suppose to do? I don't know.. I don't know.. But he had to go with something.. Tentatively, Luthen unwound his arms from around the other boy's middle and re-wrapped them gently around the other's neck. Hesitantly, he pulled himself closer to Jarred, deepening the kiss; Is this.. Okay?

[Your muse is doing fine ^-^ Wah, I failed on this one T-T Aww, I feel bad for Luth..]
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[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

He tried, he really did. His whole life had been so centered around himself, so self-revolving, that he'd never really worked at anything his whole life. Who did he have to please but himself? It was always what he wanted, what made him feel good regardless of what it might do to others. But he'd let that inward responsibility, that devotion for himself, fall to the floor when he'd met Luthen. He'd given his loyalty, his purpose, his devotion, to the dark-haired boy in front of him. And he tried harder than he'd ever tried before to be everything the younger boy needed. To be perfect for the boy he loved despite the fact that he was already flawed beyond repair. All he wantedmwas to make the younger boy happy, to do anything he could to be there when the other needed him. Luthen had already accomplished what seemed impossible, mending the deepest wounds and helping him to bury all the vices he'd nurtured for so long; there didn't seem a thing in his power that could make up for everything the boy had done for him. But as deep as they were buried, his misconducts were still there.

He thought, in fact, he was becoming sure, that there wasn't anything in the world that could compete with the feeling of being near the dark-haired boy, of knowing that the boy wouldn't leave him. He wanted to stop the clock, pull the plug or kill the batteries just so he could keep on believing that the night, where he was, this moment with the only boy he wanted to spend it by, wasn't going to fade like he knew the dark sky would the next morning. He loved the safe feeling the boy's arms provided, the way the younger boy could cut through anything on the outside with just one touch. He loved the way the boy's cheeks reddened when he told the other he loved him, or how a single glance could encompass him in a happiness he didn't think he deserved. It was all his addiction, his drug, and there's always side effects. His head swam as he faintly felt Luthen's arms tighten around him, his lips working against the other's more fervently as he began to let himself get lost. But like a buffer, the younger boy's fragmented thought was there. As he let the line between constraint and indulgence fade, some part of him dropped it's control over what he heard and when, allowing bits of what the boy was thinking to echo in his mind like a poorly connected radio picks up pieces of the broadcast. "W-what am I supposed to..? I don't know..." Like a knife, it cut through the haze he'd settled into, jarring his attention away from how he felt, how much he wanted the boy in front of him, and towards what Luthen was feeling. His heart skipped a beat when the boy's arms replaced themselves around his neck, his lungs ceasing to function as he was pulled into the kiss; both hands rose to the younger boy's face, but it was different. He could feel the hesitance and the timidity in the boy's actions now. Luthen was at a loss, and yet he was trying so hard. For him. It took every ounce of will power to break himself away, to bring his head up as his blue eyes opened slowly. I'm.. god, I'm so sorry, Luth, he murmured quietly, biting at his lip and averting his gaze. A thumb stroked across the boy's smooth cheek before he lowered his hands, I shouldn't have.. I got carried away.. I didn't mean to.. to scare you..

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: Fffff! Lol J finally had a 'eureka' moment there XD. 'Bout time, too.. >__>" -smacks J- Awwz poor Luth.. I loved your post, I feel so bad for the poor bby!
Images©LJ

[Luthen]

All he wanted was to make the other happy, he never cared about his feelings; it was just a welcomed surprise that what could make the older boy happy, also made him happy. Though, how he felt had always been second when it came to the wellbeing of others; he would always kill his heart if it helped out another. Most never realized this, and he was glad of that. Why should anyone else know the pain he was in? They didn't deserve to feel it, they deserved to be happy. There was only a select few that were sensitive enough to Luthen's feeling to know when the white wolf was hurting himself for another and they always had a way to deal with the wolf. They hated to see him do that to himself; so after a bit of play fighting, they would get Luthen to feel better. And they'd also be able to teach the wolf a lesson; though he never learned to try and put himself first. So lets just say that there was a lot of rough housing between him and a few of his closest friends. But right now the past didn't matter, all that mattered was that the older boy was happy, and Luthen would do anything, anything to make sure that Jarred was happy. Even if it meant he had to throw himself out into untested waters and hope for the very best. He would gladly do it, over and over again.

This night was slowly becoming his happiest memory; there was barely anything that could compare to how he felt. He was so happy and warm, and wanted. Yet, there was also the small torrents of fear that up-rose; was he doing it right? Was the other happy? There was no denying how much he loved the feeling of the other's lips against his own; be he couldn't bring himself to enjoy the moment as much as the other was. Doubtful thoughts still pounded against his mind, they were unwilling to settle down at the back of the boys head. He wanted to be perfect for the older boy, and yet he only had a vague idea of what it meant to be human. There was nothing for him to fall back on, nothing for him to go on; humans spend years learning the stuff they need to survive out in the real world. He had learned everything he need to survive as a wolf in a mere year, and all he had learned had served him well until about five years ago, when he found out he wasn't even a wolf.. He wasn't sure what he was even going on as his arms gently wrapped around the other's neck; maybe it was instinct? But that was a very low probability, Luthen's only instincts were that of a wild animal, not a human. He really was, just winging it. His heart started to pound harder as he deepened the kiss, uncertainty flooding through him like a typhoon. The feverish beating of his heart started to calm slightly as he felt the older boy's hands on either side of his face. Surprised was the closest thing that could describe how he felt when the kiss ended, a confused look entered his eyes; I-I did something wrong.. Didn't I? He blinked, even more confused as Jarred apologized, to him, what had the older boy done wrong? It felt as if part of his lifeline was cut when the warm hands left his face; "I shouldn't have.. I got carried away.. I didn't mean to.. to scare you.." His head lowered until it was resting against the other's chest; he couldn't bring himself to relinquish his hold on the other boy. "N-no, its my fault.. I just don't know how to be human.. I should be the one apologizing, not you.." he spoke softly, his words only for the one he held most dear. "I'm sorry, I'll try and be better."

[Yay, J as been enlightened XD I don't think this post started out too well, but I like the end of it ^-^;; I think Luth needs to take Humans 101 XD]
Icons;©LJ

[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

He had never had anyone care about him the way the younger boy did. He'd never felt so safe with any single person, so comforted and wanted and needed. It had always been him against the world, mostly by his own doing as he let himself fall into an unbreakable sense of enmity. But then Luthen had come along, and suddenly it wasn't just him. He wasn't alone on his side of the line. It was a peculiar, but warmly welcomed, enveloping, feeling to truly know that the younger boy would stay by him, that no matter what might happen, they were both striving to remain at one another's sides by whatever the means. He'd heard too many promises to come out believing even one over the years; they were all just empty words from unreliable sources, having the stupidity to think that they could convince him they were telling the truth. So he'd let himself learn through example, coming to trust no one and beginning to play their game. But when he'd heard those two words come from Luthen's mouth, the smallest whisper of "I promise", there was no doubt, no hesitation in his mind. There was nothing but truth behind the boy's words. And for once, there was only sincerity in his respondence. He would go to the ends of the earth, walk through hell and back, give his heart and soul on a silver platter, anything and everything for Luthen. As long as he could be with the boy. As long as the other was happy.

He couldn't remember a time when he'd been happier. There was nothing he could come up with that could compete with the way the younger boy could make him feel; the smallest things, a glance, a smile, a word, could have him completely enraptured. His entire drive was to be with the younger boy any moment he could and to do everything in his power to be there, to keep Luthen safe and make him smile. But already, forcing his hands to obey and fall slowly from either side of the boy's face, he felt as though he'd failed. I should've been more careful.. I should've realized.. Being human was all too easy for him; his race had always had an understanding of them and the missing pieces of the puzzle had been claimed when he'd acquired a host. But the younger boy didn't have a clue. Luthen had nothing to go on, but he'd jumped off the deep end for him. He bit at his lower lip, blue eyes flashing with guilt as he met the other's confused, golden gaze. His heart hammered as he stumbled through his apology, his breath hitching. I'm so sorry. I promised I'd never let anything hurt you, and then I go and just.. He blinked as he felt the younger boy lean forward, the violent rhythm of his heart calming as he felt the warmth of the boy's head against his chest. He's.. he's not.. A part of him had been waiting for the boy to decide maybe staying wasn't such a good idea, or that maybe, as it turns out, all that glitters isn't really gold. There was reassurance in the warm arms around his neck, the corners of his mouth turning upward as he realized they weren't about to move, either. He moved his own arms back around the boy's middle, resting a cheek against the side of the boy's head. Luthen's voice barely rose above the rain pinging against the windows, and yet it was the only thing he could hear. It's not your fault, though, his words were spoken just as quietly, I was pushing it. I didn't think and I shoved it all at you because it was what I wanted. I got selfish and impatient and I don't know how I could ever make it up. He exhaled slowly, smoothing a hand over the younger boy's dark hair and resting his chin on the boy's head, holding onto Luthen as if one step farther apart would kill the lifeline keeping both of them alive. Don't tell me you're sorry, Luth. You don't need to be better or different or anything like that. I love you just how you are; don't try to change because of me, 'right? He tipped his chin towards himself, able to chuckle softly as he placed a small kiss on the top of the boy's head. And as for the whole 'human' thing, I guess you're lucky I happen to be such a great teacher and all.

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: Lawlz Humans 101 ftw! XD Hee I thought it was such a cute post, Luth melts mah heart! <33 Ffff I think I've officially boarded the crazy bus with this post... I have no idea what to say for this XD. -hands basket of chocolates and stuff for being so laaate with the reply and for making it stoopid-
Images©LJ

[Luthen]

The thought of promises had always been a curse to him since the last thing he'd promised had been broken so tragically. The memory of it still haunted him to no end, but he had been able to push it away, no, it had been kept away. As well as all his other memories; Luthen had grown indifferent, or at least that was what he gave off. But those two simple words that he hadn't spoken in so long; 'I promise'. How could two small words unleash such pain and agony? And yet there was warmth along with the pain, he was glad to be give a second chance to prove himself. But who would ever give such a cursed creature a second chance? Well, Jarred did, whether he knew it or not. The boy wanted to do anything-everything in his power to keep that promise. He didn't want to break another one, no, he couldn't break another one, not again. That was why he was trying so hard to be perfect; to go against what he was know to do and tread into foreign ground, step off the ledge, and dive hundreds of feet under. Just like in his past, he didn't care what happened to him; as long as his promise was kept, as long his most important person was happy.

There was no doubt that he should of loosened his grip around the other's neck, but Luthen just couldn't bring himself to do it. He felt safer, like maybe this would help keep his lifeline alive. His golden eyes closed as his head rested against the older boy's chest; he loved listening to the other's heart beat, it calmed him to no end. The panicky beating of his own heart began to settle as he felt Jarred's arms wrap around him. The words he had spoken were meant to make the older boy feel better; but they weren't lies.. No, he could never bring himself to lie to the person he had attached himself to more then any other being he'd ever known. The older boy was his existence. His life. His reason to keep surviving. "It's not your fault, though," His eyes opened his surprise; he was the one to blame, not the Jarred. I'm the one at fault.. Its always me.. He had taken on this illogical way of thinking after the destruction of his pack; but was it truly illogical? The pack is dead because of him. The reason to why his old pack land is still left unclaimed is because of him. Reku is still alive because he couldn't kill the bastard. Everything always points to him. Its always.. His thoughts died away as he listened to the soft spoken words. How was it not his fault? His features reddened slightly as he felt that reassuring touch float across his head; there was not a person alive that Luthen had ever let do this.. Jarred was the only one, and would probably be the only one he'd ever let do it. His flush deepened slightly as he heard the older boy speak his favorite words; "I love you..." The boy didn't know if he could agree to what the other asked; he wanted to be perfect, and yet.. The person before him didn't want him to change. A small smile wove its way across his lips as he felt that small pressure against to the top of his head. After a few minutes, his head lifted and he gazed up at the other; "I-I want to be perfect for you.. But, but if you don't want me to change.. I won't." His gaze shifted slightly as a wave of nervousness hit him; he wanted to try something, but he was so unsure of himself. But.. I really want to.. Hesitantly he pulled himself even closer to the older boy and lightly touched his lips to the other's. Then he pulled himself away, his face now bathed in a crimson glow; "T-thank you Jarred.. For everything." He didn't know if what he did was okay, he wanted to ask, and yet he was scared to. "W-what I did was.." he lowered his gaze slightly so that he wasn't look into the other's blue eyes. "W-was it.. Okay?" If the color of his blushed deepened ever more it wouldn't even be able to be categorized as 'red'.

[Aww, I like your post; Jarred can be sweet sometimes <3 And its okay that its late, you're sick, so you should be getting bed rest and soup ^^ -hands bowl of super soup- D'aww, Luth is so cute <3]
Icons;©LJ

[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

He had never cared about anyone's feelings. He never gave a second thought to how something he did might affect the people around him or how he would be viewed by others. But now, he could only ever think about what the younger boy was feeling, how he would come off and how he could be better. He had always been stubborn and selfish, answering to nobody but himself and putting anyone who judged him back in line quickly. And then Luthen had found him, and suddenly he realized that he was unsure of himself, always second-guessing and looking to the boy he loved more than anything for what was right and wrong. He wasn't playing by his own ever-changing rules anymore; he just wanted Luthen to be happy, to feel safe and trust him, to want to stay with him. So he'd set everything he'd known aside, fighting the 'one-man island' independence that had always come so naturally to him and striving to follow the younger boy's lead, to let the boy lay his ground rules. He tried to only do what he knew was alright and avoid what could cause trepidation for the other, to be everything Luthen wanted and needed. But he was still Jarred. As hard as he tried, there was no way around who he was, around all the quirks and imperfections that blotted his personality. But how he dealt with his shortcomings was what could made a difference.

The sole idea that the younger boy had blamed himself, that Luthen truly felt it was his fault, flooded him with a pang of guilt and regret. He wanted more than anything to take back how he'd acted, to rewind and be able to realize the boy's discomfort the second time around. His cheek burned as he rested it back against the younger boy's head, the hand smoothing across the boy's dark hair descending to settle against the arm still wrapped around the other's middle, lids falling half-mastedly over vividly blue eyes. If he could just stay that way, he knew it would be enough. Everything he ever needed was right in front of him. Almost disappointedly, he felt the boy drawing back as he brought his head back up, somehow missing the feeling of the boy's subtly damp hair as he turned his gaze on the younger boy's upturned features. "I want to be perfect for you.." He smiled slightly, his head shaking slowly in respondence to the younger boy's soft words. You're already perfect. You always were and you'll always be to me.. He didn't care what anyone else might think of the boy before him; Luthen was, truly, perfect in his opinion. His brow furrowed subtly as he searched the other's gaze, his breath catching as trepidation etched itself across the boy's features. I.. Did I do something..? He felt his heart begin to race again, the words in his head dissolving before he'd had the chance to voice them as the younger boy drew closer to him, forgetting to breathe as the other's lips brushed against his own and sent trills down his entirety. He hadn't realized his eyes had closed until he had to slowly reopen them, exhaling as a warm smile spread across his features. His icy gaze fell upon the younger boy's reddened features, giving the boy's side a reassuring squeeze. "Thank you." Two simple words; he couldn't recall ever hearing them directed sincerely towards him. He blinked down at Luthen as the boy's quiet voice continued, his own features reddening slightly at the boy's inquiry. Was it.. okay? he repeated quietly, chuckling softly as a hand tilted the other's chin upward and he captured the boy's lips carefully in his own, drawing back and biting at the inside of his cheek. He wasn't sure exactly how to tell the boy what every little thing did to him, how much it all meant or how the boy's actions could drive him crazy with want and conciliate him all at the same time. Luth, it's not just 'okay'.. , he smiled, drawing closer against the younger boy as his arms tightened their grip, You don't geddit, do you? His features were mere inches away from the boy's, his actions hesitant in his lingering guilt, asking permission now instead of letting his inclination drive.

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: Hee thanks kai! Domg super soup!! The holiest of all soups! -worships and eats- XD Dawwwz Luth, he's just sooo cute! <33 I love him to no end! ^^ -pokes post- I have no idea where I'm going with any of this lol.. I have no real game plan, the meds wrote it :3 (wowz.. I'm like always on meds it seems haha) And omg I love Luth's new icon O3O
Images©LJ