turn.the.lights.down.[Kai]

[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

True, he wasn't a very forgiving person in general. Some things he could shrug off more easily than others, let them slide on occasion or ignore them completely if he was more focused on getting completely plastered off his chair than he was on picking a fight, which he had to admit would probably give him a parallel feeling to the drinks in front of him. Little things, like a lewd comment from the crooked man watching him as if he'd sat down in all his eight-foot-tall ivory glory rather than plopped down in jeans and a patterned jacket, raven-black and electric blue hair just brushing his ears. But the one thing he'd never left room for was losing even a sliver of his domination; in other words, being ordered around. Nobody could hope to command him around to almost any extent and walk away upright; Abe had been the only exception, but only because of the position he'd given the bodyguard. Even then there were more times than not that he did the exact opposite of what he was asked just out of spite. He would never truly answer to anyone, never let anyone truly control him, sway him off his solid pedestal. Until he did. He actually wanted Luthen to direct him, hanging on the boy's every word whether the other knew it or not. For Luthen and Luthen alone, he tried the best he could to obey. The other boy could order him around like a slave, and he would respond with relative obedience. Whipped? Maybe.

He didn't know when, couldn't say exactly at what point it had begun, but over the course of his time with the younger boy, he'd found himself growing almost uncomfortable when he wasn't close to the other. Like the hopeless druggie he figuratively had become, he always felt like he needed to be closer, to stay with the other boy longer, to have more. But in the same thought, he felt like there was nothing else he could ever need, as if this was undeniably the best it could ever get. As long as he was around Luthen, as long as he could see or hear or feel the younger boy, he was wrapped in a contented comfort he couldn't find in anything else. He let the other boy's words wash quietly against him, an almost inaudible chuckle only slightly parting his lips as his heavily-lidded gaze aimlessly followed the patterned path of his hand as it trailed along the expanse of the boy's back, feeling the boy relax against his touch. I'll do my best to remember.. I just can't ever see myself blaming you. Crazy, I know.. I just can't. He had been molded around the fact that he was the only one responsible, that ever little thing really was always his fault, although time after time he'd found a way to shrug the blame onto someone else. But if his cards were all on the table, the truth was that he was the only person he could blame. There was nobody else in his life for so long, that when there finally was, and he'd come to care so much about them, he couldn't break from that truth he'd established so long ago. His eyes closed as his lips found the curve of the boy's neck, a small tremor of his own filtering through him as he subtly felt the younger boy shiver beneath him, a quivering breath dispelling against the other's fair skin. As much as he lived for the feeling the boy's gaze on his could bring, he was glad Luthen couldn't see his flushed features. The devotion, the impeccably truthful tone of the words leaving his mouth; he was bearing all, reaching deep down and dragging out anything he might've been hiding. He breathed a quiet sigh as he let his forehead fall against the other's shoulder for a few seconds, the boy's whispered words filling him with warmth and widening his growing smile. His heart threatened to stop altogether as he felt the boy brush against him, a hand moving to rest against the other's lower back. He swallowed as the boy's words swept through him, echoing around his head as he moved against the other boy, pressed against the dark-haired boy. I don't need anything else.. just to hear you say that.., he breathed, wrapping his arm around the boy's slender waist and pulling the other onto his side as the bodyguard buried his face against the younger boy's dark hair for a moment before continuing the trail of small kisses across Luthen's neck and jawline. I don't want you to ever leave.. not even for one second.. he murmured in between, I've said it a million times, and I'll say it again. I love you. More than anything. You don't know what it means that you.. that you love me back..

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: Lololol they shall revolt against Luth! XD Haha Luth brings out the best of J usually.. -huggles Luth- Too cute for words! Epitome of cute! <333 Fff what happened to my muse? It poofed.. I be sorryz. Lol I can so see them just starting to really get into it and suddenly someone bursts in all "I heard yelling wtf's going on?!" rofl.
Images©LJ

[Luthen]

He had become the lone wolf that was always seen as the darkened character of every story. Silhouetted against the dark forest backdrop, the devoto really did appear to be that blood thirsty killer. And he was at one point, searching the land in hunt for another's blood. Along the way he'd come across many others, either drawing blood for leaving without a word and in once case, doing both. He didn't want to get close. And in every case, Luthen had pushed everyone away. Only coming to slight terms of agreement with the gang, but never did he say he was 'close' to them. He had been close to others only to see them ripped away from him; being close to someone only brought pain and heartache, two things he sure didn't need. Iron clad walls went up around his heart, there was no lock, for there was no one that could ever hold the key. The only ones that could of were now dead. He thought his walls were perfect, just like his facade, that was until Jarred showed up. The older boy tore down his walls, casting the rubble aside to open the boy's heart. In just the few days he had known the other; Luthen had pulled himself closer and closer to Jarred until it there was an unbreakable bond between the two. He hadn't ever wanted to be close to anyone again, yet now he could never think of detaching himself from the older boy.

Even how he was, intoxicated way beyond the limit that his darker thoughts could come forth; there was still that idea, those feelings that he was the one at fault. That he was the one to be blamed. Yet, unlike before, they were now dimmed and faded; cast aside by the overwhelming thoughts of the older boy. He just nodded to the other's words, encountering slight amazement; how could anyone not be able to blame him? After everything he had caused, it was so unexpected to find someone that might be unable to blame him. But despite the pure unbelievability of that simple statement, his heart was set a glow. The slight tremor from the other made his slight flush deepen a shade; a warm smile appearing as he felt the older boy rest his forehead against his shoulder. His heart beating a little faster as Luthen brought himself closer to the older boy, there was no greater comfort then the feel of the hand resting on his back. His face glowed red as he poured his heart into those few words, but there were no words that could ever describe how much he truly felt from the bodyguard. I love you more then anything.. You're my whole life.. No mater what they had both done to each other in that alleyway, he would never take it back. That was how he had met this person he loved more then life, and he wouldn't trade that away for anything. His dulling blush lighting up again as Jarred's warmth pressed against him; those whispered words washed against him, pushing away the small flicker of doubt that his words were not enough. "I'm glad that m-" his breath caught as he was pulled onto his side; forcing himself to breathe after each small kiss, his heart threatening to burst. The boy's cheeks burning as those loving words washed against him, his eyes closing as he let himself get drawn into the moment. "I don't ever want to leave you.. I want to stay by your side, always.." he said softly, lovingly, as his arms were placed around the other's neck. "I will always love you, and you alone. There is no other person I would want to have my heart.. You're the only one I will ever want.." It took a few minutes for the true reality of what he had said to sink in; there really was, without a doubt, no other person he wanted. The older boy was all he wanted, needed.

[Hehe, I love how he brings out the soft, fluffy side of J X3 It poofed, really? 'Cause your post is better then this one -pokes post- Rofl, I can also see that happening, then the person would be like "O.O Jarred, wtf are you doing?! And who's he?!" lmao XD]
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[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

Happiness had always been something he'd convinced himself he'd found, but in reality he'd only ever feigned. The shallow things, that feeling after a solid win in a fight that curled a smirk across his crimson-smattered features, the invincible feeling that could be bought and strengthened with every bottle the bartender passed his way, the things that were only a vague projection of anything even resembling happiness, were as real and as close as he'd ever come to the feeling. As far as he was concerned, those things were true exuberances. He never had that undeniable feeling at the back of his head that maybe, just maybe, he was missing something. He'd never thought that there was anything more than what he already knew. But slowly, he was again being taught otherwise. Proven wrong. And while usually, in almost any other case, he would have fought the notion that he was wrong, this time he found himself wanting the change. All the meaningless flippancies seemed to fall away, to amount to nothing, in comparison to the enveloping contentment, the overwhelming happiness, that only the dark-haired devoto could bring him. He would pay any price, fulfill any demand, for even a minute to be with Luthen. Just when he'd begin to think he couldn't feel any more strongly for the boy, that he couldn't possibly love the other any more, he would find himself falling further, caring even more deeply.

He had expected at least a word of protest from the younger boy, a reason why he should blame the other despite his reluctance, but there were none. Heavy lids nearly closed over icy blue eyes as he felt the other boy nod in response to his statement, the warm smile seemingly stuck across his features permanently. He could feel the heat radiating from Luthen's flushed face, his thoughts still circling the dark-haired boy's quiet words, the feeling that could be heard on each syllable setting his own heart rate racing to catch up with the other's rising pace. Just to hear him say that.. He hated conversation, most attempts to talk to him would either be ignored or met with violent irritation, and yet he craved even a single word from the younger boy and the younger boy only. Luthen was the only person that had complete control over him, whether the dark-haired boy knew it or not, the only person who could order him to any task and he would do everything in his power to try and fulfill it. He loved the way the other felt against him, letting his eyes close as he moved closer to Luthen and pulled the boy onto his side, his grip softening in response to the younger boy's seized breaths. If he never moved again, if he could stay how he was at that moment forever, interrupting the stretch of cream-colored carpet with the only person he could ever want to be there with, he knew that it would be more than enough for him. His lips burned with every brush against the boy's smooth skin, his head swimming as he let everything fall away except for the younger boy against him. His blue eyes slowly opened as Luthen's quiet words washed over him and he could feel his heart begin to beat so furiously against his chest he was sure it would bruise, his breath trapped in his throat no matter how hard he tried to keep breathing. He rested his head against the other boy's arm as he felt it wrap around his neck, moving his hand from the boy's middle to fall against side of the boy's flushed face as Luthen continued. "I will always love you, and you alone". His brow knitted lightly and he blinked at the younger boy, half afraid that he'd imagined the other's words. There were so many things he wanted to say, but instead of voicing even one he felt himself following the boy's movement as he pushed Luthen flat on his back, leaning over him and bringing them back to how they'd began as he roughly seized the boy's lips, his hands holding Luthen's wrists against the soft flooring. Everything you say to me.. I've never felt anything like this, he murmured, barely breaking from the other's lips, I can't find a word or a phrase anywhere that could ever tell you how much you mean.. 'I love you' doesn't even start to be enough. He knew that he would never lose even a fraction of what he felt for the boy beneath him, that there was no other person on earth he would ever need besides Luthen. As long as you're with me, I don't want anything else. All I need is you.

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: Hee naw yours was awesome! Wtf is this mess of a post? I'll get better with them lol. Yet another lovey, peaceful moment ruined by J XD. Such a wierdo urhur. Rofl and it'd probably be Abe who ended up running down there.. poor guy'd probably be all "o//o -slaps hands over eyes and runs into doorframe- Domg wat!!" pffft!
Images©LJ

[Luthen]

He had known happiness, he had known joy, he even knew what it felt like to be considered important in someone's life. But those feeling had been ripped, torn, and pulled away from him. Those feelings had been lost to him over the few years he had traveled in the search for revenge. The only thing the devoto welcomed was the since of blood lust, that feeling, that need to kill. Everything else was pushed away or drowned out by his hateful thoughts. A killer has no need for happiness or joy, unless it is the joy of killing, or that happiness at seeing your enemy's blood. Sadistic? One could easily say, but that is what he had been brought to by his tragedies. Luthen soon found himself neither receiving joy nor pleasure from his simple kills; they were just jobs, nothing more. But then he had run into that bodyguard, they had fought and there was bloodshed and blood lust. And He enjoyed it, for the first time in moons he had enjoyed fighting. That small thing should of tipped him off that there was greater changes to come. No warning or sign would of been enough to prepare the boy for what was going to happen to him. It had only been a few days, a few simple days, and yet he was stripped of his facade. His core personality once more finding a hold and coming up; with this reemerging of his old personality, the cravings started. He wanted, no, needed to feel that warmth, that happiness and joy that being close to someone brought. And there was only one person he was finding that in, the one person he had wanted to kill.. The one person he loved more then life..

He could feel his heart being to thump louder and louder as he was turned onto his side and brought even closer to the older boy. His heart even threating to stop as his had to force himself to breath after each gentle brush from the other's lips across his skin. He didn't want to move, he didn't want this to ever end; he was against the one person he had come to care about. There was nothing he would trade for being here, next to Jarred. He continued to pour his heart out, never before had he let his heart be thrown out on so many words. But he wanted the older boy to know just how much he loved him; the devoto would do anything for the other. He had become what he swore he never would be; he had become tamed, and he didn't care. As long as this one person was the one that held the leash, he couldn't care less. Slowly his eyes opened as the older boy's head rested on his arm; a smile lighting his features as he felt that comforting touch along the side of his face. D-did I say too.. Too much? a hint of worry entered his golden gaze as he stared at the other boy; that short silence beginning to eat him up inside. I.. I said too much.. Or, did I say something I shouldn't of.. He opened his mouth to speak, but was quickly silenced as he was pushed back onto his back, staring up at the bodyguard. "J-Jarr-" he was quickly cut off as his lips were captured in the other's; his wrists being held against the cream floor. Luthen didn't resist, not in the very least, no, he welcomed it; his eyes closing as he was pulled deeper and deeper into the kiss. His cheeks burning as the words washed against him; How can I mean to much to him.. he found his heavily lidded eyes re-opening to look into the other's icy gaze. "As long as you're with me, I don't want anything else. All I need is you." He was.. Wanted, no, needed? There was a person left that actually needed him; it felt as if his heart would fly from his chest. "Y-you don't know how it makes me feel to hear you say that.." I never thought I'd feel this way again.. No, I've never felt like this before. Even when he had been living with his pack, never before had he ever felt like this; it was better then anything he'd ever felt and he never want this feeling to go away. "Jarred.. Can I stay with you?" he whispered, barely breaking from the other's lips. The boy had no time to think his words through, they were out before he even knew he had said them. But there was nothing he could do, no taking them back.

[Aww, yours was fine ^-^ I'm not sure about mine.. I blame the research paper >.>" Lol, J seems to ruin alot of sweet moments, though I don't think Luth minds <3 Lmao, poor Abe. I wonder how it would proceed from there rolf XD]
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[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

He was the type of person it had always been easy to say no to. He had willingly watched himself grow to become the kind of guy that would be more confused and taken off guard if someone had asked him to join them, if they'd stuck around long enough to even hint they weren't either afraid of him or entirely irritated by him. If anybody had ever shown any different, if anyone had done any more than cast a sharp glance or turn the other way, he was more liable to force them in that direction anyway. He wasn't regretful, brooding over a time when he'd felt differently, when he'd had someone he held close and there was something more than the shallow life he'd eagerly fallen into. How could he possibly miss what he'd never had? What he never thought he'd even want? He hated everyone and was hated by everyone. That was how it was. Or so he thought. He would never be able to understand how someone as unwelcoming and volatile and atheistic as him could ever have had the sheer luck to have met Luthen. The younger boy had broken through the years of growing loathing, showing him that it was possible to open up, that it was possible to love, without being shot to the ground. He clung to the other more and more with each second he spent near the dark-haired boy; no matter how many times Luthen told him he would always be there, the bodyguard still feared that the boy would slip through his fingers. That just like everyone else, Luthen wouldn't stay.

He would do anything, sell his soul a thousand times over , withstand any trial, to be able to freeze the hour as it was, to never have to face the fact that time wasn't going to stop no matter how hard he tried to stop it. For the first time in a very long time, he felt safe. Completely comforted and truly happy. All because he was with the only person that could really get to him, the one boy that had him waiting on the other hand and foot. He coveted the boy's warm touch, finding it harder to breathe every time he even barely brushed up against Luthen. The growing smile edging across his features only dimmed slightly as his pale blue gaze found the younger boy's, the hand against the other's cheek sliding to only barely hold Luthen's chin between a thumb and an index finger as a hint of worry found it's way into the boy's golden eyes. He worries for my sake.. I don't think anyone's cared so much. Ever. He'd had the intention to reassure the younger boy, to try to get through to Luthen that the other never needed to worry about anything concerning him, but what he'd meant to do and what he actually did didn't match up quite so nicely. He couldn't have told the boy why he'd done what he did, his ears burning as his name was cut short in the moment he covered the boy's mouth with his own. His grip around the boy's wrists hadn't been intentional; if he'd had any amount of thought process at the moment, he probably would've hated himself for pinning the other down as suddenly as he had. But Luthen made no move to resist, his heart thudding so violently he was positive the other could feel it in their close proximity as he spilled his feelings to the younger boy beneath him. Luthen's soft voice washed quietly against him, his hands dragging slowly from the other's wrists to rest on either side of the dark-haired boy's chest. Just wanted you to know.. he mumbled against the other boy's soft mouth, his hips settling against the other's before the boy's quiet words found him once again. "Can I stay with you?" He broke away from the boy, blinking down at Luthen as his brow lightly furrowed confusedly. Wh- ..Y'mean.. like.. stay stay? He let out a breath, not having realized he'd actually stopped breathing as he bit at his lower lip, a warm smile crossing his flushing features. God, please stay. Don't ever leave me, not even for two minutes.. His smile dimmed in the light of mild concern, a hand rising to smooth a few strands of tousled hair away from the boy's forehead. B- .. the gang.. he managed in a croaky murmur, his thoughts screaming for him to quit it and just say yes like he so deeply wanted to. As much as I don't give a damn about them, I know how you feel for the bastards.. He found one of Luthen's hands, letting his calloused fingers entwine affectionately in the boy's as he swallowed past the dryness consuming his throat. I just want you to stay. I don't want you to ever leave, not for one second. You don't know what it would mean to me if you stayed. B-but.. but what if you were hurt, if they found out..? Fear had begun to seep into the pit of his stomach, both at the thought of something happening to the boy he cared so much about and also the idea of Luthen leaving after all, of the younger boy not staying like he'd hoped and prayed the boy would.

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: Dawwwz Luth of course you can stay! ^3^ -huggles- I thought your post was inspired, the research paper did not win! Lol. Yus, J wins at failing tender moments XD. Hahaha well mebbe Abe will have to make a grand appearance at some point rofl.. Or maybe he'll sense J's "plz 2 b going away" vibe and stay under his duvet x3. Peh.. J's a wuss. He's all raepface and then suddenly "what if you get hurt?" lol
Images©LJ

[Luthen]

He had gladly pushed everyone away, no longer want to be close; being close only brought pain and heart ache, nothing else. He even went to the extent of keeping his distance from the gang. Even though he had some trust in them, he was never close with them, but in some sense, he needed them. The gang was what was holding on to the last few strands of his sanity, so to say. He was never going to become a killer, but he was slipping into that true feral animal. He never realized that he needed the gang like he did, so the distance was kept. If anyone tried to get close they were met with cold bluntness; his steady patience and care were long lost. It never took much to make him bare his fangs, he was always ready for a fight, to spill blood. But no mater how much he hated getting close, no matter how much distance he tried to place; there was nothing that could keep away the older boy. He had even tried to push the other away, giving up in the end, unable to do it. Something had actually grab hold of his cold, cold heart; something he couldn't resist he couldn't fight. After awhile Luthen found himself unable to be away from the older boy, all he wanted was that closeness, that love.

He was always one that would resist; anything another did they would be met with equal or greater resistance. But he could never bring himself to resist anything the older boy did; the other just had that much of a hold over him. And this time was no different as he was pushed back against the floor with his wrists pinned. There was nothing within him that said to resist; he just went along with it, welcoming it. The words the other spoke meant more to the boy then the other would ever know. He was really wanted and needed.. And there was nothing that could of prepared him for that. After the pack, he didn't think there ever would be another soul that he could ever want or need him. But being proven wrong was the greatest thing that could of ever happened to him. Feeling the older boy's racing heart made him aware of how fast his own was beating. He barely registered when the grip around each wrist was released for he was far to lost into the moment. His thoughts where blurred, unknowing of the words that were about to be spoken. If there was any thought, those words would not of been said. How could he even ask such a thing? Luthen didn't want to be a burden.. He just wanted to be near the other, always. I'm selfish.. I'm sorry for being this way, he thought as the kiss was brought to an end. His small worry was dismissed as a warm smile lighted the other's flushed features; "Of course stay stay," he said with a light chuckle, producing a smile of his own. But that smile faded at the mention of the gang; I had nearly forgotten about them.. The smile returned as he found his fingers intertwined with Jarred's; the words washing lightly against him. He closed his eyes and thought for a few minutes, then he eyes re-opened; his mind was made up. "Jarred, I want to stay with you," he said softly, resting his free hand against the other boy's cheek. "The gang mean something to me, but you mean so, so much more. You're my life now, not them." He began to lightly stroke a thumb against the other's cheek; "And don't worry, they won't find out. But if they did, that wouldn't matter.. As long as I have you, nothing else matters."

[Ugh, sorry about this.. I'm tired and sore x.x" Rofl, I would defiantly fear J's "be gone" vibe XD I don't got much to say about Luth.. I'm kinda outta it right now Xp]
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[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

Dependence was something he had always looked down on, something he'd turned his back on and had always loathed. It wasn't trust to him, like so many others seemed to think, or interpreting an unspoken bond of any type. Dependence didn't stem from care or love or anything like that. To him, it was just a weakness. Like stamping a big red 'pathetic' across their foreheads. People were only dependent because they were weak, so unable to fend for themselves that they had to turn to other people just to get through the motions. He had always found little to no patience for anyone not deemed strong enough in his eyes, had always either ignored completely or terrorized those he felt were irritating. But as he'd spent more of his time around the younger boy, as his feelings had grown and changed and brought him to care about Luthen more every second he was with the other boy, he found himself becoming exactly what he'd injured numerous bystanders for being. He had become dependent. He truly needed the dark-haired boy; even the thought of being separated, of not being able to see and hear and feel the younger boy near him, filled him with a dread that sunk heavily in his stomach. And suddenly, dependence took on new meaning. It was love. It was devotion and adoration.

He had feared the single moment when he would have to face the reality that, if only for a short period of time, he would have to watch the younger boy walk away, leave him to stand alone in what would then seem a much larger, much more empty and desolate, corner of the endless manor. He was hooked, addicted, obsessive, whatever they might want to call it, about Luthen; sincerety had always been a stronger point for him, but when he'd voiced the fact that he never wanted the other to leave, not for even a minute, it was more than just sincerety. It was a pour-out-your-soul truthfulness he hadn't had any use for in the past. And yet the younger boy's inquisition had taken him off guard; somehow, the idea that Luthen might stay with him had always been barred from his consciousness, though the thought, once mentioned, threatened to flatline him as the smile crossed his reddened features. He loved Luthen's smile, his grip entangled in the boy's tightening affectionately as his own warm smile was returned. A breathy chuckle escaped his upturned lips as the other's voice enveloped him, his mind still hesitant to accept that Luthen had really asked what the boy had asked, afraid that he'd heard wrong. He focused absently on the other's hand in his, tanned skin seeming to meld with the boy's fairer shade as silence filled the room. Don't think about them, just forget I said that! Please, please.. stay with me. Don't go back to them, his thoughts screamed as he tensed nervously, wishing he'd been able to just say 'yes'. Choose me.. His icy blue gaze found the younger boy's as golden eyes opened after what seemed much longer than in reality, his smile returning quickly as he exhaled shakily in response to the other's quiet words. Heavy lids nearly closed over glassy blue eyes as he felt the boy's hand against his cheek, the skin burning warmly under Luthen's fingertips. He let the younger boy's soft voice wash against him, the sounds of the lessening rain and rumbling thunder seeming nonexistent as he tilted his head against the other's hand. "As long as I have you, nothing else matters" His hand disentangled from Luthen's, resting against the boy's cheek for a moment before following the other's neck, light fingers tracing the dip of the younger boy's collar fondly. And I want you to stay, he started in a soft tone, More than anything. You're all I care about.. I don't think I could stand to not be with you. He fell forward, his head resting against Luthen's shoulder as his arms found their way around the younger boy's neck as best they could. I know you don't need me to protect you, he chuckled, But if they did find out, I swear they wouldn't lay a hand on you.. you don't deserve the punishments you've already received.

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: O3O wowz, you can write like that when you're out of it? -jealous- Haha I loved Luth's "duh I meant stay stay" XD for some reason that made me lol. Hah I'd hide from his vibe.. it'll radiate your brain rofl! Sorry I keep getting my posts up so laaate, stupid life is in the way x3. And J's last comment is referring to all Luth's self-torment and whatnot lol.. I didn't word that well..
Images©LJ

[Luthen]

"We die for what we care about.. We die to protect all that we love." "Are you willing to die for them?! You're just willing to end your life?! Just like that?!" He was the definition of duty, he was willing to do anything to protect the ones he cared about. Others depended upon him, as he depended upon others. It was an unspoken mutual agreement of a pack; you fight for your pack and in return your pack will fight for you. It was one of the oldest sayings of the wolfen world, and almost every pack went by it like it was a law. But after a few unpredictable events, his heart shattered, depending on anyone, needing someone, they were useless, unneeded, and unwanted. Luthen had had it all and could do nothing but watch as it was all taken away from him. That was what dependence brought, it made one weak when having to face something alone. But the devoto had never been weak, he could easily win a fight when he was outnumbered, only killing when there was no other option.. Killing another wolf was considered a sin if it could of been avoided. Though, it seemed that as territory grew scarcer, that sin was fading away into acceptance. But that was why he could not accept the older boy wanting to protect him; if he was protected, he would just grow weak once again. Then something would happen that would take the other from him.. Just like before, and he would be unable to do anything to stop it.

How could I have even asked such a thing? he was still finding it hard that those few words had slipped out with a single thought behind them. Usually he never slipped up, he always thought his words through; but so far he had had two slip ups, and both where in front of this one person. The only person that could melt his thoughts away, blur his way of thinking and chase away the dark thoughts that had haunted them him for the past five years. Yet he really, really did want to stay with the other; he didn't care where he had to sleep, he'd gladly take the floor. Or even if he had to stay outside; as long as he was close to the other boy. Please say 'yes,'" his thoughts had echoed softly. There was nothing he could of done to stop his heart from skipping a few beats when Jarred had said that he wanted the boy to stay. The gang, though, it had seemed like forever since he had last thought of them.. But what had they really done for him? Yet how could he even think that? He had to protect them.. Didn't he? After five years he had finally found something for him to do that wasn't hunting after an arch enemy. Five years might not seem like much in human time, but for a wolf, those are alot of long, lonely years. And now he was going to turn his back on the gang, his new pack? Just like that?! Yes, he was. The coarse of his life had changed the moment he had run into the bodyguard, and he hadn't even seen it coming. But now Jarred was his life, the gang.. They will just have to stay in the dark. And if worse came to worse; the devoto would turn his fangs on them for the sake of the person that held his heart. As he spoke his decision, a bit of guilt wormed its way into his heart; what was he becoming, if he could easily dismiss the gang as if they where nothing? But they where nothing compared to the warm of the older boy's cheek as Jarred's head tilted against his hand. His cheeks burning lightly as his collar was traced lightly with the other's fingers. "And I want you to stay," he couldn't help but smile at that; it was just so wonderful to be wanted. He was startled when the older boy suddenly fell toward him; his neck being wrapped in the other's arms. "W-wha.." As the spoken words came toward him, he was stunned into silence; Wha.. Why.. H-how.. his thoughts asked. He couldn't understand. He just couldn't. Why was this person going to such a length, to protect him? And why was the older boy always saying that he didn't deserve every punishment? Luthen just let out a small sign and wrapped his arms around the other boy, slowly rubbing Jarred's back with a hand. "Why do so much for me?" he whispered, resting his head against the older boy's. "I did deserve those punishments.. I was weak for not being able to protect them.." He grew quiet and listened to the distant thunder, reflecting on his past. I should of been the one that died, but, then I would of never met him.. "I'm sorry.." he said softly, biting at his lower lip. "But there is nothing that will change the way I see my past.. And please don't protect me, if, if I'm protected.." I'll grow weak and then something will happen and.. And I'll lose you. Those thoughts crushed him, he feared losing Jarred; if he lost this one person, he was surely going to die. "Don't ever make me leave you.." his voice barely rose above the splatter of the rain, a deep seeded fear coursing through each word. Both arms tightened around the other; I just want to be with you.. To protect you.

[Lol, you thought my last post was good? Wows.. I thought it sucked. Nah, its okay, life is important. This got kinda long.. I think this post is okay, I don't know.. I be tired z.z]
Icons;©LJ

[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

He had always been strong enough. Fights he won ninety-eight percent of the time, beliefs he stood by, fears he overcame, realities he lived with the knowledge of; no matter what type of strength was called for, he'd always, always, been strong enough. By personality, he'd automatically been able to excel in the art of war; his skills, which had been his focus, a top priority for twenty-one years, were honed to an unnervingly near perfect condition. He loved the sport and had lived for too long with nothing to deter him. He was as merciless as he could be unpredictable, constantly varying his methods of attack and never giving his victim enough time to even begin to formulate where he'd hit from next, never giving way to settling into any one pattern. Nothing was important to him except himself, nobody else mattered and no object held any more value than a penny discarded on a sidewalk. Bitter was how some saw him. Murderous was the mainly agreed-upon term. But even stronger than his tactics or the power of his blows was his ability to confront whatever might come his way, never letting anything really get under his skin. There was a price on his head that could probably pay for the entire city? Great, try your worst. But suddenly he'd found himself falling, crumbling at the mere thought of being separated from Luthen. The younger boy was his life, his entire world. He was so afraid that it would all be torn away from him, so afraid that something would happen to the boy and he'd be left alone to wish he could die. Paranoid. The boy was his strength, and he wanted so badly to always be there for Luthen, even when the other didn't need the help. He needed to be there.

He couldn't have asked for anything more as the question had fallen so quietly from the boy's lips, his breath catching so quickly it was almost painful and his mind swimming in an impenetrable haze while he tried to assure himself that Luthen had said what he'd heard. More than anything, he wanted to be near the younger boy. He didn't care when or how, just as long as he stayed with the other. His mind screamed for him to tell Luthen yes, that the boy couldn't have asked him any question that would make him happier and that all he wanted was to never have to leave the younger boy. Not for a month, not for a week, not even for a minute. When the other wasn't near him, his thoughts revolved solely around when he'd get to see the boy again. And when he was with Luthen, no stretch of time could ever seem long enough, the rhythmic tick of the clock seeming to mock him. He lived for the closeness, the unexperienced warmth and the feeling of being wanted, needed, loved, that Luthen could bring him, craving so much as a glance from the boy or a single word in that soft voice that burned him from the inside out. He felt a smile crossing his lightly reddened features at the feel of the boy's warm hand against the side of his face, heavy lids nearly closing completely over icy blue eyes as he let himself be wrapped in a warmth only the younger boy was able to bring. The smile widened subtly as the younger boy's face flushed noticeably beneath him, letting his eyes close as he buried his face against the other's shoulder, his words ringed with seriousness despite his decidedly lighter, warm tone. I don't want to see you hate yourself for things that weren't your fault.. I kills me to see you upset.. He exhaled slowly as he felt the younger boy's reassuring grip wrap around him, sinking further against Luthen as the boy's hand left subtle tremors across his back. You're anything but weak.. he murmured, shifting to press a soft kiss against the side of the boy's head, And I do so much because I love you. You deserve more. He settled back against the other's shoulder; If you're protected..? He hated the fear suddenly overtaking the other boy's quiet voice, swallowing as his own arms tightened in response to Luthen's. Nothing could make me let go of you, Luth. I'll always be right here, with you. I hate just being in a different room from you.. I'm so afraid that if I turn around for one second, you'll.. you'll be gone. His voice dropped just below a whisper, barely audible even in the relative silence of the room, I'll.. I'll let you look out for yourself. I'm sorry. A hand wound into the dark hair at the nape of the boy's neck, lingering lightly as if to reassure them both. I didn't mean to make you think I'm trying to change you.. I don't want to ever do that to you, It just hurts to see you torment yourself over something that you did everything you could to stop.. He let his words dissipate, his arms sliding downward until they were securely around the younger boy's middle before he slowly sat up, legs bent underneath him as he brought Luthen against him, unable to loosen his grip around the other. s-stay here tonight.. he whispered, lifting his head from the boy's shoulder to find Luthen's golden gaze, his soft voice asking, pleading, rather than demanding. Right here. With me.

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: Yours never fail to beat mine! Owowz your post was epic O3O.. Dawwz J move over I'm taking Luth XD Lol this is like a record time for J to keep the moment going lolol. Yes, the manor is full of rooms, but Luth shall not escape bwarhar! (I need to stop typing so late rofl)
Images©LJ

[Luthen]

No one could ever understand how much his past had tormented him. Not that he had ever given anyone the chance to. He drifted alone, making sure no one ever got close; these were his sins to bare, no one else's. He lashed with fangs at anyone who even tried to get close to him; soon his reputation preceded him everywhere he went, making sure no one ever approached him. The lone, scarred white wolf; as the rumors called him, but are they really rumors if they speak the truth? Icy was the best way to describe him, even his golden gaze was cold, freezing many in their place. Only the foolish approached him, or the ones that wanted to die. In those five years he walked alone, he painted his life in blood. No longer was he even accepted as a fellow wolf, he was a kin-slayer, a murderer. The only reason the gang probably accepted him was because none knew of his past, or of the rumors his sins had created. He could of easily stayed like that, or more likely, gotten worse, much worse. But the moment he had run into the bodyguard, he began to change, little by little his cold nature began to disappear. His golden gaze no longer reflected coldness, but warmth. He was reverting back to what he was before his life turned into hell. Becoming the creature anyone would be happy to know, but he was only like this for this one person. The only one that knew of his past, and didn't blame him for it. That tried to make him not blame himself..

Why didn't he just accept what the other had said? Why did he have to resist it? Being protected.. Was it really that bad? For so many years he had lived fine being protected, and in return, protecting the ones who protected him. He began regretting what he had said. "You're anything but weak.. " his hand froze, he wasn't.. Weak? His eyes closed; wasn't he weak for not being able to stop Reku? His flush deepened as he felt that soft kiss, his eyes reopening slightly; He's doing so much.. Because he loves me. I-I should of realized that.. He cares about me.. His mind process had slowed and before he even realized it, he was speaking things he would of rather not. Again with the slip ups? Why couldn't he be perfect for this person? There was no stopping his tightening arms, fear had gripped him, and it would let go. Luthen feared more then anything that he'd lose the older boy. Jarred was the one thing he had let, so to say. But the fear started to dissipate as he felt the other's grip tighten in response; I'm.. Sorry.. His eyes widened slightly as those words came to him, How did I not realize.. No, I'm the one that's wrong.. It was killing him inside; he had been so wrong.. He had to stop pushing others away, or at least this one person. After that lingering touch, his heart gave way; he had to stop, he had to let go of it. His head shook slightly as the older boy continued, "No, I'm the one tha-" his soft voice broke off as he felt the other's arms slide down his back until they were wrapped securely around his waist. His features burned as he was brought up to a sitting position, resting against the older boy. "s-stay here tonight.. " he felt frozen as he looked into that icy gaze, his thought process temporally stunned. "Of course I'll stay with you.. There's nothing else I would ever want.."" he blush reddened as he spoke the truth; there really was nothing else he wanted. "But.. Can you forgive me for saying such things.. I-I want you to protect me, if, if you'll let me protect you in return.." he let his words settle before speaking again, in a much lighter tone. "I guess you didn't realize it, but, the moment we met, you started to change me.. I'm glad you've changed me." He smiled and kissed Jarred lightly on the cheek; "And I'll never leave you, I'll always be with you, if that's what you want.."

[Blah, sucky post, sorry >.>" Lol, it look like J has a rival now XD Oh wow, call the record book people. Rofl, I don't think Luth minds not being able to escape. And I love the new icon <3]
Icons;©LJ

[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

It was of his own doing, and he would've been less than thrilled if it had been any other way. It didn't matter how far he wandered or how long he was in any single place, he was always either hated or feared. He brutally shoved away those few and far between that had ever tried to stay closer than most, clientele seeing him as a valuable asset to their boss' cause seemed the only candidates that weren't more than happy to keep their distances. Company only irritated him; he was well aware of who and what he'd become, and it was painfully, transparently, easy to see that those who freely approached him without a scowl and a weapon were as fraudulent as one could be. They felt the same about him as everyone else, but under orders from a higherarchy, they'd put on a front and pretend they didn't want to stab him or run away. He'd never been seen in a single person's eyes as anything more than a monster and a murderer. He'd never had anyone care about him, never known what it felt like to be wanted, to be looked upon with devotion and warmth instead of sharp malice or uneasiness. And it had never bothered him, he'd never wanted to be seen as anything less that what the majority sized him up as, until Luthen. The younger boy had given him everything he'd never wanted, and suddenly he did want it, he coveted it, craved the little things that made him feel so wanted, so needed and so loved. All the things he's always looked down on were suddenly the most important things to him. He was different; he wanted nothing more than to be with the dark-haired boy, to never lose that feeling only the other could bring him. For Luthen and for no one else, he had changed.

He wanted to be there, he had to be there, for the younger boy. He knew Luthen was more than capable enough to take care of himself, that he could do only as good a job of protecting the younger boy as the other could himself. But he held the other boy so close, cared so deeply and needed the boy so fully, that he was still afraid to let go. Still afraid that no matter how strong the other was, no matter how determined and unmovable, something would happen. He didn't think he would ever be able to ever loosen his grip around the younger boy, letting heavy lids fall slowly over icy blue eyes as his own quiet words filled the silent corners of the room. He could feel the heat radiating from the other's features as they turned a light shade of red, a tinge of guilt filling him as the boy's request reverberated through the back of his mind. I should've backed off before now. He's stronger than me, but I can't let it go. He could feel the younger boy's head begin to shake slowly, Luthen's soft voice quickly cut off as he sat up, bringing the younger boy against him as a flood of warmth enveloped him. He didn't want to have to face the stillness of an otherwise empty room, not tonight. Not ever, if he was being totally truthful, but anything beyond that night seemed unimportant at that moment. He didn't care what happened, as long as it was with the other boy. He could feel his own cheeks flushing more deeply as the tentative inquiry left his mouth, biting at his lower lip as he searched the younger boy's golden gaze. "stay here tonight"? What? I.. I shouldn't have just.. He half wished he could take the words back, swallowing as the seconds of silence seemed to drag out into hours. Why can't I think straight? I'm gonna end up s- his wandering thoughts were brought back to reality as the other boy's soft voice hit his ears. He blinked down at the boy, trying to convince himself that he'd heard right, a smile breaking slowly across his face as he forced himself to keep his breathing deep and even. "There's nothing else I would ever want" He slumped his weight against his heels, the tight grip around the younger boy's slender waist loosening only a fraction as relief washed through him. His brow subtly furrowed as Luthen continued, his hand rising to brush across the other's crimson cheek. If you'll promise me you won't kill yourself over it, he managed to keep his warm smile in place, desperately trying to push away the thought on his tongue. I can't die, but you could..don't try and protect me if it'll make me lose you.. A roughened thumb stroked across the smooth skin of the boy's cheek, You don't have to apologize.. everything you said makes sense, I'm just.. He shrugged slightly, his gaze trailing to the table beyond the boy as Luthen's tone took a lighter turn, quickly snapping back to the other as lips against his cheek deepened the shade of red across his features. That's all I want, he whispered, his hand falling to rest against the boy's arm. I.. changed him? He couldn't have wiped away the smile across his face if he'd tried; You've made me into a completely different person, Luth. I don't even recognize myself half the time I'm around you, but.. I.. I don't want to go back. I want to be what you make me. I'm horrible at thanks, but.. thank you. His head dropped, his cheeks burning and his blue gaze focused on the edge of the boy's dark shirt as it slid between his fingers. It's crazy, I get.. scared, or something.. when you're not here, his head shook subtly and he chewed at the inside of his cheek, It's like there's this feeling that you're not coming back, even though I know you will.

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: Noes I thought your post was fine! Hahah it shall go down in history.. longest uninterrupted moment! XD Urg sorryz about this, I totally just failed with a capital 'T' lol. J.. what a pansy haha! But a pansy in the name of looove <3 ahaha! Hee thankies, a friend made it and emailed it and I was like O3O NEW ICON USING! x3 Ffff this got stupidly long..
Images©LJ

[Luthen]

What's the point of dieing for another? You lose your life, and for what? To save some weakling? There is everything. What is wrong with dieing that way? Least you die with pride, saving someone. A life is really meaningless, unless one can make use of it, and if your life's use is save others, maybe dieing in the processes, what's wrong with that? Least your life had a use. That was what Luthen's life's use was. Protecting others, maybe at the cost of his own life. But he didn't care, he never cared. As long as he saved someone, as long as he protected someone, he didn't care. His life meant nothing to him. Dieing was always near for a wolf, and he accepted that, maybe even more then the average wolf. But then, he had failed. Everything he was meant to protect, was killed, and he could do nothing. A life without a use, isn't really a life at all, and he found that out after he thought he had killed Reku. What was he to do now? Living was meaningless, and dieing was too much of a privilege; a privilege he didn't deserve. The gang had given him something, so use, but it wasn't like before. When he felt like he had to protect them. He just did it out of duty, nothing else. But then Jarred had come along; someone who he wanted, no, need to protect. The older boy was all the devoto had, and even if he had to die, he would. If it protected the one person that was his life.

There was no point anymore to continue to keep this person at a distance, like he was just some average, everyday person. No, the older boy before him was different, and he had to stop the instinct to shove the other away. The boy wouldn't know what to do if his mindless talk hurt the other boy. He wasn't the same person, no he was his older self, or at least close to it. He had already let the other in, now all Luthen had to do was keep him there, resist the urge to push the other away, to return back to that emptiness. There was nothing he could of done to stop the warmth that flooded through him as he was pressed against the older boy; he felt safe, truly safe. Never before had he ever let his guard drop to nothing; not even with his pack. He had always held some sort of guard, for anything can and will happen, but here.. Here, at this moment he felt as if there was nothing that could ever happen. He was really happy that Jarred had asked him to stay right here, in this room. Cheeks burning as he told the other what he wanted. The boy couldn't help but smile in response to the smile that was breaking across the other's face. If I don't kill myself.. "I won't," he said, or more likely, lied. But what the other didn't know, was for the best. If he died, it was okay; he was made to protect, and if he died in the process, it was fine, or so he thought. His eyes closed slightly as he felt the soft brushing across his cheek; he was fully enjoying that small touch. He was glad that he told the older boy how much he had changed him, and the small kiss.. He really didn't know where that had come from, but he was glad he did it. He blinked, finding it hard to believe that he had done so much to the older boy; You're thanking.. Me? His eyes closed as he unwrapped his arm from around the older boy and re-wrapped them around the other's neck. "You don't have to worry, I promised before that I wouldn't die, and now I'm going to promise you something else.." His eyes opened and a warm smile lit his features; "I promise, no, I swear that nothing in this world will ever stop me from seeing you. And.. And if you want.." his gaze lowered slightly as his cheeks began to burn again. "I won't leave you.. Ever. I'll.. I'll always stay beside you.. If, you want me to, t-that is."

[No, I like this and pansy J, lol <3 The icon is soo cool ^^ Aww, I just want to huggle Luth <33 I so want him, -shoves J away- rofl XD]
Icons;©LJ

[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

He was what he was. Almost an animal, but too unnatural to be categorized as such, far from anything that could be called heavenly, 'angel' seemed a humorous term, but not so deep into the depths, not tagged and mastered by any underwordly lord, that he could legitimately be thrown amongst the ranks of demons. He was too dead to be living, but too alive to be dead; brought about by no one, dependent to no one, and therefore having to answer to no one. He lived by his own rules and nobody else's; death and injury were the only things that would await anyone who tried to force him to believe differently. Conforming, playing by another person's rule book like a controlled pawn, would mark the breaking point, would find him obedient and acquiescent, answering to a master like the dog he loathed to become. He refused to let anyone but himself call the shots, refusing to become any less independent that he'd spent so long to become. He was unreachable, completely impenetrable to anything on the outside. At least, that's what he'd thought. The younger boy had burned his walls to the very ground, turning him upside down in only a few days. He'd never had someone care about him, devote themselves to him like Luthen did. And he never wanted to be separated from the only person who could make him like he was, who could take him in and fill him with warmth, make him want to give back what the other had provided for him. He would do anything for Luthen. As viciously as he'd kept above everyone, he gladly fell below the younger boy. He would answer to the boy like a slave if it was desired. Anything for Luthen.

He had left everything he'd known, everything that had so hazardously defined him, behind him, nothing but willing to change for the younger boy he loved more than life itself. He wanted to be all the things the other could make him, striving to never let this oddly gentle, devoted disposition crack, afraid he'd end up doing something he regretted, never noticing his mistake until it was too late to do anything. I've already let it happen.. he dared to let himself think, features flaring a glowing crimson as he bit at his swollen bottom lip. He'd almost been able to push it away, to completely forget that only earlier he'd been yelling down at the younger boy, pinning the other against the ground instead of lying him there, jaw clenched and indignation filling him as his fists tightened until his short nails dug into the soft skin of his palm. He couldn't have explained what had happened as anything other than blind reaction, the type of cracks he was fixated on avoiding. But unlike all the other times, that time he'd been left with a deep-seated uneasiness, fear bubbling upward at the idea that the other might leave after the way he'd acted. "I'll never leave you, I'll always be with you.." He never wanted the words to die away as they continued to swirl hazily through his .head, his heart sticking in his throat as his warm smile was responded to likewise. He loved everything about the younger boy, every single thing, but Luthen's smile had to be one of his favorites. A quiet exhale left his upturned lips as the younger boy's reply washed against him, a relieved, muted chuckle rising in his throat quietly. You couldn't have given a better answer.. it's hardly protecting me if you end up leaving me behind. His head bent downward, his gaze unable to meet the younger boy's as he confessed how much he feared losing the other, his cheeks positively burning with the vulnerability, the truthfulness on every syllable as he spilled what he would never even conside telling anyone but Luthen. Apparently, the younger boy wasn't the only one speaking before he thought. I don't even know why I said that.. god, he must think I'm so callow.. His breath caught silently as he felt the other boy's arms slowly unwrapping, the sudden chill once Luthen's grip had left him quickly giving way to an even more comforting warmth as the boy's arms encircled his neck. He leaned his head, resting against the other's fair arm as he reminded himself how to breathe. The younger boy's words washed against him, his heavy-lidded eyes meeting Luthen's gaze, his heart threatening to stop altogether as he struggled to comprehend that Luthen had really just said all that to him. L-Luth.. he gripped the boy tightly, burying his features against the other's neck. I can't tell you how much just hearing that means to me.. he murmured softly, placing an affectionate kiss on the side of the younger boy's forehead. I.. I couldn't ask you to do that, though. I don't want to take away your life.. I mean, we've got to do stuff we don't like, right? He couldn't think of anything he wanted more, but he somehow felt guilty about even wanting to say yes. He smiled lopsidedly at the boy, hands moving to either side of the boy's face before he only barely touched his lips to the other's, lingering with closed eyes before slowly standing, moving to quietly grip Luthen's forearms and lift the other to his feet. Floor hurt, he mumbled almost inaudibly, still close enough that he could feel the younger boy's heart beating evenly, C'mere.. He gently led the boy a few steps from where they stood, avoiding a repeat of before as he carefully collapsed onto the previously offending piece of furniture.

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: Hehe pansy J ftw! x3 Daww Luth's the cutest evar! -joins Kai's luth worship- Sorry J, you've been booted off the island! muaha! Why aren't you reealll Luth?? Baww! Olawl wow this post is bad.. I rambled so horribly xp Lol, J's legs were cramping, being crushed by his fat butt and all haha. Thus he moves hurhur. I got some iconzz from my pal again (she likes to goof around with them lol), and thusly used them! Hee! And I hereby declare that's totally strawberry jam on the hand's finger XD
Images©LJ

[Luthen]

"Hunting, huh?" "Yeah.." Even though he wasn't a real wolf, he was just a devoto, Luthen still hunted. He didn't like food that was easily gotten, and on most chances he refused it. He was an animal by definition; a hunter to be exact. That was one reason why he worked so well with the gang, he was never afraid to bare his fangs, or to even reveal his other form. He didn't care where he was; as was shone the night Reku reappeared. If it wasn't for the older boy, his facade would of been shattered. Not that he would of cared; he could of just killed everyone in that bar. Always he was killing; whether for foo, or just to shed blood. He wasn't like this in the past, but the past was well.. Passed. There was no future, just the present for him, he already knew where he was going, and he was hoping that it was worse then hell. That was what he deserved after all. So what was a few more sins against is already stained soul? And when he was asked, or ordered to kill by the gang, he did it with opposition. But then he met the older boy, and everything started to change; he began to slip back into his old way of thinking. Maybe there was a chance for him to clean his blackened soul? Maybe with the help of the other, he would be able to become what he once was..

Was it selfish to never want to leave; to never want to be away from the other boy? At first he thoughts so, but as his feelings for the older boy pushed away any rational thoughts, he began to think that maybe, just maybe, it was okay. If he had to he could just masquerade as a pet dog.. Even though he hated that idea, but as the thoughts played around in his mind, he began thinking that it was such a stupid idea. The older boy probably didn't even want him to hang around him for so long. And yet, what the other had spoken.. With the other's muted chuckle, he felt bad for being unable to say anything more then"I won't." But things happen, and.. And there really was no reason he could think of, he just wanted to follow his life's use. To protect and maybe die doing so, that was what his life was for, nothing else. Everything the older boy spoke, the pure truthfulness of it, it warmed his heart. He couldn't never remember having such an impact on a person before. The boy absolutely loved having his arms wrapped around the other's neck; doing so always meant that they would stay close, and that's all he wanted. He craved this closeness after years of pushing everyone away. He wanted, need the contact. Luthen couldn't believe he had just said all that, he just knew it was going too far, but he just couldn't help it. He wanted to stay with jarred, he really, really did. Once more he thought that it was selfish to think so; yet his mind couldn't stop his heart from wanting it. His cheeks continued to burn lightly as he awaited the other's response; I'm sorry for saying that.. It just.. Just.. His blush flared up again as the older boy buried his face against his neck. A small smile came across his features in response to that affection kiss; I'm glad you didn't mind me saying all that. His eyes narrowed slightly as the other continued; "You're my life now.." he mumbled softly when the other had finished. There was no denying the fact that he didn't like the idea of the last thing the other had said; "I mean, we've got to do stuff we don't like, right?" Is it selfish to say that I don't want to do things I don't like.. Like leaving you.. But he could bring himself to voice those thoughts, not that he was going to have a chance to. His golden eyes met the other's blue ones as he felt a soft touch on either side of his face. Eyes closing closing as he felt the other's lips barely brush against his own; his cheeks were now a dull crimson. The corners of his mouth upturned slightly as he was lifted to his feet; happy that he was still close enough to feel the older boy's heart beat. He could easily hear it if he tried hard enough, but feeling it, be much preferred that. Luthen should of known that the floor would eventually hurt the other; himself being use to hard surfaces, seeing as he mostly slept on the ground. "O-okay," he said softly as he was led toward the couch, the soul reason they had ended up on the floor in the first place. He smiled as he collapsed down beside Jarred; "You know I wouldn't mind.. Staying with you. You wouldn't be taking my life away," he said quietly, unsure if he should be saying this. "And beside, I've almost lived the life of two wolves.. If I was a true wolf I'd probably already be dea-" he broke off and avoided the others gaze; knowing that the older boy didn't like when he spoke of himself dieing and such. "S-sorry."

[Lol, poor J, but oh well, -snuggles Luth- he's just sooo cute <33 Wah, more new icons ^^ Lol, sure, we'll say that's strawberry jam XD Geez Luth, can't you just stick with the happy thoughts >.>"]
Icons;LJ

[jarred antonelli]

And show me where you run to

There was an overwhelming need that he had never felt before, an insatiable ache to be closer, to feel more, to never have to leave the warmth and security that only one person could ever bring him. He craved even one minute with Luthen, just one glance or a brush of arms; everything, from the smallest breath to the boldest confession, meant the world to him. A single smile had the power to slow him down and speed him up, to make him calm and turn him into a nervous wreck all in the same instant. He'd never wanted like he did now, and what was hard to swallow was the idea that nothing he aspired towards revolved around himself. He had always been completely opposed to ties of any kind, not just distasteful but downright bitter. Attempts to get close were met with violence; warning blows and second chances were null in his game. He'd never wanted anything for anyone other than himself, ignoring everything outside of his world and firmly pushing away anything that might try to break through. Caring could only lead to a sharp stab in the back by his reasoning, and it seemed sheer stupidity to knowingly allow himself to be wounded. But Luthen was showing him that there was more to everything he'd pushed away than he may have let himself believe before. Suddenly his life didn't revolve around himself anymore. There was more to what he was.

It was like Luthen was the mind reader, his words washing warmly against him. There was nothing he wanted more than for the younger boy to never leave him, to never have to feel that tightening knot in the pit of his stomach, to never be glazed in the odd panic that overtook him whenever he was away from the other boy. He didn't care what anyone might think, it didn't matter what repercussions he might face; as long as Luthen stayed, he didn't care what happened. He could feel subtle shivers coursing through him as the reality of the younger boy's inquiry began to hit him; the other boy wanted to be with him. With him. It didn't seem like any of it should be happening to someone like him. He loved the feel of the younger boy's arms wrapping warmly around his neck, holding him close and keeping him close. The comfort they brought, the pressure settling at the back of his neck, was like a silent promise, a reassurance that he would always have the other boy. He'd never wanted to be near someone as strongly as he did Luthen, had never craved and pleaded for the closeness like he did now. He would trade anything to never be out of the younger boy's reach, to be able to be there every time. His icy blue gaze fell to the other boy's features as he bit at his lower lip, the smile curling across his mouth widening as he blinked down at the other's flushed features. He could feel his heart hammering, letting heavy lids close over vibrant eyes as he buried his face against the younger boy's neck, a small hum rising in his throat as his warm breath cascaded against the dip where neck met shoulder. His own cheeks had begun to burn subtly, pink tinging across the bridge of his nose as he moved to press a small kiss against the side of the other's forehead, a hand gently tightening against Luthen's hip as he felt the heat ebbing from the other's crimson features in warm waves. He could barely hear his own quiet words, his pulse beating deafeningly loud in his ears as he struggled to keep his breaths quiet and even. "I couldn't ask you to do that, though" He didn't know why the words had passed his lips, his mind fighting his mouth fervently even as he let the words spill out unhindered. What? What?? God, that's all I want. Why don't I just say yes!? Dammit. Keep this up and he'll leave for good.. He hated his own words, loathing his final comment more than anything. I don't want to do things I don't like. I want Luthen. I want to be with him. He barely caught the younger boy's quiet voice, his heart skipping as he let the words wash against him, blue eyes meeting molten gold as his lips brushed against the other's, a shaky breath flitting from parted lips as he began to stand, missing the warmth of the boy's cheeks beneath his hands the moment they were removed. He met Luthen's smile likewise, wrapping an arm around the boy's shoulders as the other collapsed beside him on the cushioned couch. The boy's quiet voice filled the quiet spaces of the room, his smile threatening to split his features as his thumb traced small circles against the younger boy's upper arm. "If I was a true wolf I'd probably already be dea-" He felt his heart drop to his stomach, swallowing with effort as the thought hit him like a brick to the face. He didn't want to think about mortality and immortality; the idea alone sent a piercing pain through him like a knife. But facts were facts, and all that mattered to him was the present. He exhaled slowly, a small smile reappearing across his features as he nudged his nose into the soft hair at the base of the other's neck, pulling back to gently coax Luthen's features in his direction with a forefinger against the boy's chin. It's alright..., he offered quietly, brushing the back of his hand across the other's cheek, biting at his lower lip fervently, I-I don't know why I said all that. I want you to stay with me, more than anything. I'd do anything to have you with me, but I just.. don't want you to.. regret. He let his gaze fall to the fabric of the couch, his face flooded crimson, I don't want to do anything wrong, but I'm too addicted to be out of your reach. Please, please stay. His hand fell to find Luthen's covering the boy's hand almost possessively with his own. I'm begging you.

when no one's left to take your side.

For: Kai's Luthen <3
Notes: -joins luthsnugglefest- Hee he's sweeter than any candy! <333 Lawl I loved your post, it was so.. awww! x3 Barg I feel horrible about taking forever to get a post up and then making it horrible when I do get it up.. I sorryyy! I've been cementing a house foundation all day yesterday and am still in jet-lag mode, so bear with me haha!
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